Many parrot owners experience the frustrating scenario where their bird becomes attached to just one person in the household. While this strong bond might feel flattering at first, it often leads to behavioral issues. The parrot may become possessive, aggressive toward others, and overly dependent on their chosen person. This situation can make other household members feel left out or even afraid of the bird, leading to the classic dilemma: “It’s me or the parrot.” But why do parrots bond to one person, and how can you prevent or fix this behavior?
Parrots are highly intelligent, social animals, and in the wild, they form strong pair bonds with one other bird. In a home setting, they naturally transfer this instinct to their human caretakers. Often, the person who spends the most time feeding, training, or handling the bird becomes the one they bond with. This bond can become so strong that the parrot begins to see their chosen person as a mate or flock leader, which can lead to aggression toward anyone they view as a threat.
One of the most common reasons for rehoming parrots is due to this one-person bonding behavior. When a parrot becomes possessive and aggressive toward others in the household, many owners feel overwhelmed and give up. However, with the right guidance, this behavior can be managed and improved.
Parrot expert Barbara Heidenreich notes, “Parrots thrive on social interaction, but without proper socialization with multiple people, their instincts can drive them to form bonds with just one person, mimicking their pair-bonding tendencies in the wild.”
Preventing one-person bonding starts with creating positive relationships between your parrot and all family members. Here’s how you can do it:
Involve Everyone in Care: Ensure that multiple people participate in the bird’s care. Everyone should take turns feeding, handling, and training the parrot. This teaches the bird to trust and rely on more than one person.
Share Time Equally: Divide time spent with the parrot among family members. This could mean taking turns having the bird on your shoulder, playing games, or teaching the bird tricks. The goal is to create bonds with more than just one individual.
Positive Reinforcement: Make sure that all interactions between the parrot and family members are positive. Each person should reward the bird with treats, praise, or toys when they interact with them. This helps the parrot associate good things with everyone, not just one person.
Rotate Training and Play: Have different family members take the lead on training sessions and playtime. For example, one person could do clicker training one day, while another practices target training the next. Varying activities with different people helps the parrot see everyone as part of their “flock.”
Neutral Spaces: Try interacting with your parrot in different areas of the house, not just in their cage or main living area. New environments can help lessen territorial or possessive behaviour around one person.
As parrots reach sexual maturity, typically between 1 to 4 years of age depending on the species, hormones begin to play a major role in their behaviour. During breeding season, a parrot’s natural instinct to bond with one “mate” intensifies. If your parrot sees their chosen human as a mate, they may become protective, possessive, and aggressive toward others.
Dr. Jason Crean, an avian biologist, explains, “Hormones in parrots can exacerbate territoriality and aggressive behaviours, especially when they view one person as their mate. Recognizing the hormonal cycles and managing breeding behaviours early can prevent many issues.”
Hormonal behaviour is especially common in species like African Greys, Cockatoos, and Amazons. The bird may exhibit nesting behaviours, such as shredding paper or becoming territorial over certain areas. They may also show affection toward their chosen person by regurgitating food, an act reserved for mates in the wild.
If your parrot has already bonded to one person and is showing aggressive or possessive behaviour toward others, there are ways to train this behaviour out and reintroduce balance to the household.
Gradual Socialisation: Slowly reintroduce the bird to other family members through positive interactions. Have non-bonded members offer treats or toys from a distance at first, then slowly increase interaction time. This will help the bird develop positive associations with others.
Training Through Positive Reinforcement: Engage the parrot in training activities that involve other people in the household. Target training, where the bird is rewarded for touching a stick or object, is a great way for family members to build a positive relationship without forcing interaction. Reward calm and non-aggressive behaviour around others with treats and praise.
Animal behaviour expert Lara Joseph often emphasizes, “Target training is one of the most effective ways to build trust with a bird and encourage positive interactions, even with people the bird may initially be fearful or aggressive toward.”
Minimise Hormonal Triggers: Reduce hormonal behaviour by limiting petting to the bird’s head and neck area. Stroking other parts of the body can stimulate breeding behaviours. Also, avoid providing enclosed spaces that can encourage nesting instincts.
Desensitisation: Have the person the bird dislikes sit in the same room without directly interacting with the parrot. Gradually, the parrot will get used to the presence of this person and begin to feel more comfortable around them. Reward the bird for remaining calm and not showing aggression.
Rotate Responsibilities: Make it a point to rotate bird-care responsibilities, like feeding, cleaning, and playtime, among family members. The bird will begin to see all household members as part of their “flock” rather than focusing on just one person.
If you’re struggling with a one-person bonded parrot, don’t give up. With patience, persistence, and the right approach, you can resolve this behavior. Many professional parrot trainers and behaviorists specialize in this kind of issue. These experts can provide tailored strategies to help you manage and improve your parrot’s behavior, ensuring a harmonious relationship between your bird and the entire household.
Changing the behavior of a one-person bird takes time and persistence. It’s important not to rush the process, as forcing interaction can lead to more fear or aggression. With consistent positive reinforcement and gradual desensitisation, your parrot can learn to trust and enjoy the company of multiple people in the household.
By creating a balanced, social environment where your bird interacts with everyone, you can avoid the “It’s me or the parrot” scenario and enjoy a happy, well-adjusted parrot that fits comfortably into the family.